So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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