when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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