He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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