i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
