dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
