Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
