oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
