The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
