Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
