sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
