I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
