I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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