You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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