so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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