I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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