Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
