And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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