I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
