The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
