Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
