I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
