so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
