i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
