Heybabeimwearingurpanties
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
