Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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