she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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