i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize