elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize