You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
