During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
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