Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
