White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
