the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
