So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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