Do you still have your period?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
