I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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