upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize