Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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