She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
