got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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