I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
