Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
