Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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