My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
