problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
