Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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