and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
