So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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