I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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