dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
is wine microwaveable?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
