A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
