Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
