.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize