it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
