You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
As shirtless as possible
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
