In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize