so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
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Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
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Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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